Starting again when you’re feeling stuck

Sometimes you have to go back to the beginning and start again.

The prospect of writing, putting myself here in this place, has loomed larger and larger in my mind over the last few months and I’ve stayed away. It has even haunted me in ‘real’ life, a few people have now mentioned to me that they’ve noticed I haven’t been writing. So how have I managed to start again?

I am not erasing my beginning, what came before. I am releasing myself to reconnect with what had somehow slipped away from me. I am shedding my leaves in this autumn, to build towards a new growth season. What comes ‘before’ has influence; and something made me stop.

I had meandered down a path I wasn’t certain was right for me and wondering what I was doing. I didn’t know how to change, and I still don’t, but I have faith now that it will, eventually. Right now any alternative path looks like there is a slash through some undergrowth to get there. The perception is that change should be instant.  Often it is something that creeps gradually.

So it’s ok. To get a little lost and disorientated, and need to take a step back. To start over.

Stopping writing wasn’t a conscious decision, rather it just happened and I told myself I would get back to it. That after such and such happened, I would have time, inspiration, whatever. And while I might have thought that the case, really it was a reflection of my uncertainty.

I have however been spending plenty of time mulling over writing, often drafting something or other, but not quite getting the rubber to meet the road. Gradually though over the last few weeks things have been changing for me and I feel a lot less ‘stuck’ and finally able to start again. This is what I’ve been focusing on to find my way.

Filling the glass.

Life is for living, loving and enjoying. Not at the expense of others, but sometimes it’s good to focus close to home, about what makes you happy and satisfied. Writing helps me work through my issues. But writing publically brings an extra dimension. Thinking about a wider group of people can stifle.

When I think about what matters to me, it makes my creative fires burn and gives me energy to push forward and open up to new possibilities.

I am however incredibly grateful and thankful to those who have mentioned my writing (or lack thereof) to me recently (you know who you are). Having people who are looking out for you, supporting and cheering you on is so valuable.

start stuck autumn reflection

One step at a time.

The big picture is an incredibly useful guide to life, leading somewhere rather than nowhere. But. It can also be crippling. And uncertainty about the big picture makes it even more so. Picking a place to start seems impossible.

To be useful a big picture needs to be seen as small parts that make up the whole. Like paintings and sculptures that are different depending on the angle and proximity in which you view them, so is life like that.

I am choosing to do things on the small scale that are the same colours and textures that I want in my big picture. Each contributes, even if the end result isn’t quite as I imagined.

Done rather than perfect.

Satisfaction from doing something often comes from not the work itself but the achievement of it being done, a step on the journey. Because after that is the next step.

Except the voice inside puts words into the mouths of others, makes judgements, puts barriers up to reaching completion. I couldn’t express myself properly, my words weren’t coming to me. I lacked skills to do technical things, and I was afraid of trying in case something went wrong. Perfection is my enemy.

I’m always trying to get my girls to understand that practice is what makes you good at something, rather than talent alone. But it’s not so easy to take the medicine yourself!

Growth rather than stagnation.

And service is resumed.

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6 Comments Add yours

  1. I think the key is not to over think things – not always easy for people like us! As you say ‘done rather than perfect’ is very important and it can be the overthinking that stops the doing! I’m barely writing at all at the moment but when I write a blog post (about once a month) it’s because I really want to, and I find that satisfying. The joy of blogging less is you really do disconnect from the pressures of what you ‘should’ be doing as a blogger and blog just for yourself. I’m hoping to get back to writing at some point (maybe once the illustrating gets to a point where they can perfectly intertwine) but until then, blogging a good way to keep the words ticking over. Glad you’re back! Keep at it (but not in a pressure-y way!) xx

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      My problem with less blogging is it quickly becomes no blogging! I need a routine to help me make a commitment to the writing, I’m such a procrastinator . I’m glad to be back too, but on my terms, and I know that will make it more enjoyable for me. No more overthinking – yesterday I even wrote a post in a day! Xx

  2. Welcome back lovely. The trouble with blogging, as Maddy has already said, is the pressure it comes with. Once we tune out to those pressures, it can be very liberating and enable us to go back to blogging for the original reasons we started. Hope to catch up soon xx

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      Thanks Reneé! I’m just doing it for me and what ever may come out of that is great. No more (imagined anyway) pressures! Xx

  3. Nicola Young says:

    We all need a routine! writing can be more reactive than anything actually planned when you are busy with life. I kind of like blogging this way though, as I write when the urge strikes, rather than making myself sit down and trying to force myself to write something.

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      I never seem to be in the right place when the urge strikes! I don’t plan what to write, I always just sit down and see what comes. But I was definitely overthinking it all and that was stifling me…Xx

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