Anyone out there who reads my posts might have noticed that I took a break and missed the gratitude journal for March. And that quite frankly there hasn’t been much blogging on The Filling Glass for a couple of months.
What has kept me away?
I made a decision to try to focus on ‘getting the house done’, which kept me away from writing, even though the proof of the pudding is that the house still isn’t done. And on top of that I had been hoping that I could celebrate gratitude for certain things that I was expecting to happen, but they haven’t quite come together.
Finally came the worry that I had lost my writing mojo. I’d think about writing and then be struck by thoughts of being a pretender. That I should give up this random idea of writing that I have.
When I spread myself thinly, I am in no doubt that it is hard work and I end up reaching a burnout point. And yet I also know that squeezing myself to achieve is the way to maximise what I do manage. The balance between trying to do more or less is very fine, enough being hard to achieve.
So what exactly is enough, neither to little or too much?
The only solution I have found is to constantly evaluate what is happening in my life and when I feel that I am veering either way I can make adjustments. There is no magic formula for the balance, just trial and error. And often going back to basics when things start to look rocky.
This month that has meant a few things for me.
Instead of focusing on what hasn’t happened, where there hasn’t been quite the stress-free progress that I wanted, I can still be proud of the achievements made. I am glad for what is. And I expend my energy accordingly – sometimes it just isn’t worth it.
Alongside this is also the knowledge that the break I have given myself has also allowed other things to happen. Good things. A family city break, a relaxed Easter holiday and an extended family celebration weekend away. These moments have of course added to the busyness but they have also removed the pressures and routines of everyday life.
This month has refreshed me with the simplicity it brought. The love in my heart swells.
I am grateful. And that will do for now.
The first rule of writing, or anything really, is that you have to try to do it. So here I am again ‘showing up’ after my break. And I am not dry, inspiration comes. Getting words out helps to exorcise the doubt too.