Getting back to writing

I’ve been dilly dallying for too long, my usual reticence to commit is really holding me back. I have been trying hard to write a post, too hard. About the theme of my ‘story’ that I am writing procrastinating about writing.  Riding a roller coaster of sometimes doing it and sometimes not.

Apologies if this turns into a rambling post, it may well do!

I suspect that not being able to write the post is really a message from myself to myself. But I haven’t been listening. Don’t you find that when something isn’t going to plan and you really look deep inside you can have a fair guess at what is going wrong, but it’s hard to realise you need to look?

The theme (not actually going there for this post) is the whole reason that I fell back into writing. The story has been swirling around, contained, in my mind in various forms for a number of years, though now a form as words on a page is starting to materialise. And boy, that is scary.

What is more, is that I think on some level I can’t quite figure out if I have truly understood this theme. Or am I writing the story hoping that I will work it out as I go? Combined this seems to make for a sort of writers block both for the story and the blog post.

I have been going over my explorations and prodding and poking at my thoughts about it, writing over 2000 words on the subject. Not making any sense. That’s the block. There are fragments of intuition and understanding showing through. But I can’t help but feel frustrated that it doesn’t hang together.

And because its been consuming my thoughts I haven’t written anything. I haven’t written the story for some weeks now, haven’t written anything about anything else either since well before Christmas. And I need to stop. Or rather start again. So here I am breaking my silence and just getting words out.

My message to myself may very well be to do some more exploring of my thoughts. So I think I will stop trying so hard to write something, anything and construct more understanding. This writing lark is still unfamiliar territory, I think that I can allow myself to find my feet again.

I think I need to do a bit more brainstorming, on both the theme and the story. Perhaps that will help and perhaps not.  But I do like creating lots of scraps of paper that I can try to decipher in the coming months or else be driven insane by… 😉

And now just writing a little something is acting as a throat clearer, palate cleanser. I feel renewed and re-energised into converting thoughts to shapes on a page that might mean something to someone else.

Because that is why I am doing this.

If you know anyone else who might enjoy this, please share

10 Comments Add yours

  1. Tara says:

    Sounds like you know what you need to do. I always think write anything just to get writing and the rest should hopefully follow. I hope it helps 🙂

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      Yes I think I do Tara! Just write! I feel better for getting something out even though it wasn’t what I intended or polished to perfection (and definitely missing a photo!). The only way is forwards:-) X

  2. Keep going. Do what you need to do, just keep going x

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      Thanks Chrissie…I’m doing it, I think, I hope. x

  3. This all sounds very familiar! My advice would be to stop worrying about the theme, or how much you understand it, or what shape this is going to take yet. Those are all considerations for a second (or later) draft. Your mission during the first draft is simply to let your subconscious have as much space and latitude as possible. Don’t interrogate it too much, or doubt yourself, or think about audience. It *is* scary, but often that is a sign that you have something you want to say. Good luck!

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      Thanks Becky! I’m such a worrier, but I know that thinking about the theme too much has been hindering the flow of the story, so I’m trying to let it go a little. xx

  4. At this point I’d say just try and concentrate on getting back to a writing routine. Get the bare bones finished and start piecing it together. Then you can think about the theme, and a proper plan once you know roughly what the story looks like. Best of luck xx

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      Yes, I’m trying to stick to a regular writing practice. Slowly, slowly words are being added. I think I’m so bothered by the theme as it is has such a personal resonance, but I’ve let go of this a little. xxx

  5. maddy@writingbubble says:

    I understand these thoughts. Just get going and keep going and try not to overthink things at this stage (easier said than done, I know) xxx

    1. Alice @ The Filling Glass says:

      Ha! I am a classic overthinker;-). I’m ploughing through doing a little most days though. xxx

Leave a Reply