Making a difference

After I recently published my post introducing my concept of empowered parenting and what it meant to me, I had a conversation with one of my friends. She asked me what I wanted to achieve by my cause, and I realised that whilst I wrote about the what, and some of the why, I thought it was important, I didn’t focus on outcome.

There is part of me that I think avoided that; both because of the enormity of what I would love to happen, and the diminishment of myself to such a size that I believe I could not possibly have any impact on such an outcome. I am my own worst enemy for my confidence; self –promotion will never be my strong point.

And yet here I am, making some noise and I am making a difference.

Since I have started doing more promotion of my posts, particularly within my existing social sphere, I have found so much support. People have sent me messages, people have written me notes, people have started a conversation with me (either of the ’I’m so glad there is someone else who feels like this’ or of the ‘I didn’t know you had a time when things were so bad’ varieties).

And that massively validates the purpose of my writing on this subject, that what I am aiming for is the right path to be taking. I have said before that talking and being open is the best way forward, and I think this applies on both a personal and a societal level. Pushing this concept, through my writing and the promotion of it, is taking it to that higher level.

So my big grand, or crazy, goal (however you see it), is to eliminate depression beyond my children’s generation. I see that there are many things that make this wild and unrealistic, however you will understand from my manifesto where that comes from. I know that it is not a job that I can do by myself, but I do see that I can be part of it, and yes, I believe it is possible.

A reader who was not a parent commented about my posts being relevant to everyone. I am glad they are, and I really want that. It is so hard to be everything to everyone, and the reason that I focus so much on parents and childhood is that I really see that they have such a large role to play in the potential for depression.

Parents are there from the start, generally the single biggest influence in a person’s life. What happens in childhood can affect that person in perpetuity. A negative influence has to be unlearned to ensure happiness. I know how emotional instability feels and instead of a problem that needs fixing I want people to avoid it completely.

However I am struggling with writing for this project. Because it cannot be always right for every person and because it feels like I am trying to sell something, which and in some ways I suppose I am. But I want what I write to flow from the tips of my fingers, rather than be constantly fighting it, chopping and changing, or feeling awkward.

But I realise I am not forcing anyone to read what I write, there are many people out there who do want to read it. And those who are not interested, don’t. I sat down and let this flow out of me, and here it is, my thoughts on making a difference. I suppose it boils down to worrying about what people think, I am simply facing that fear and not letting it control me.

I would like to urge you today to think about what makes you ‘tick’ or what you think really needs to change in your life or the world and follow that passion, try to make a difference, however small you believe your influence to be, I can tell you it is larger than you think. By doing something, you will do more to make that change happen than by doing nothing.

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17 Comments Add yours

  1. kyra says:

    We all have to sometimes let it go and that is the the right thing to do.

    1. Totally, we have to release ourselves from what might otherwise control us. We have to live our life.

  2. Alice this is a powerful and positive post that speaks so much to the journey you’re taking and the difference you’re making through your purpose. I LOVE your big, hairy goal and am definitely with you on encouraging our children to be mentally strong and resilient. Thank you for sharing this at #sharethejoy x

    1. Thank you Michelle, our children need that strength and resilience and need us to teach them yet first we have to learn ourselves. I love that I can help myself and others do just that. Xx

  3. Like Michelle, I love this huge goal of yours… It is is powerful and comes from a place of deep love, how can that be wrong in any way? I know self-promotion can be hard, especially when you are your own worst critic, but even the smallest wave you create will have an impact and grow along the way 🙂 I’ve just tweeted you about #empa actually as this post reminded me that my post this week was partially inspired by it (I even entitled it “empowered parents, empowered children” as I believe that when we are empowered we automatically empower our children!) So already your influence is getting out there 🙂

    #sharethejoy

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment! I am glad to have inspired your writing (I read it on my phone and I need to pop back over!). It is a huge goal but if I can make small differences to you and to others then the work will be worth it. X

  4. maddy@writingbubble says:

    I love your goal – wouldn’t it be wonderful? And you have to start somewhere so why not aim high? I struggle with self-promotion too so it’s a permanent work in progress… but then I think being a work in progress is a positive thing as long as you focus on getting there and pat yourself on the back for steps along the way, rather than focusing on what you haven’t done and feeling bad about it. I love the positive focus of this post and your #empa project in general. Thanks for sharing with #WhatImWriting

    1. Yes, Maddy, I try to see it as just steps too, not to get to overwhelmed by the size of the end goals but just keep moving towards them. The peace and quiet I need to work out those steps doesn’t happen very often though!

  5. Emily says:

    Wouldn’t it be amazing if depression could be eradicated? Childhood experiences are a crucial part of our mental health. When I was a child no one talked about feelings, in just a generation things are so different so I have hope for our children and the generations after them. What an empowering post.

    1. There is such a difference in a generation. In some ways knowing what we were missing helps, although I feel it can also be a hinderance too at times. But I too have hope that it can really be even better so that is my motivation to travel this path. Thank you for reading x

  6. agentspitback says:

    What a powerful message! It has been something I have thinking about as well – how relevant do I want to be and to whom? Like you say, you can’t be relevant to everybody and what should drive you is your goal. I haven’t really thought much of a concrete goal but you have definitely given me food for thought. #WhatImWriting

    1. Glad to have inspired some thought! I think it is about finding our place in the world, nestling down into our niche, and then just getting on with it. And it doesn’t mean it can’t grow or change in time either. Good luck in finding your goal! X

  7. For me, the hardest time to really say (write) what I want is when it’s something I really care about. Which is crazy, no? Your passion for this topic really comes across, and as you have said people are free to take it or leave it, so go for it I reckon! Depression is such a horrible thing to suffer from, and I think there is so much that could be done in childhood to help foster the resilience people need to not fall into its grip. I’ve been thinking about some posts on this topic myself, looking at how parenting choices can influence mental health. It’s just such a thorny subject area I don’t know if I’m brave enough to enter in to it – but at the same time if we don’t say the things that are on our mind we will never know what our words might be able to achieve! xx

    1. Thank you so much Sophie for your thoughtful comment. It is hard to write about issues that you care deeply about, I always worry about being misinterpreted. My ‘topic of choice’ is definitely an area that can raise emotions but actually I have only ever found others to be supportive of me and my writing, and it is through that I find I am able to make a little difference. Be brave! Xx

  8. Michelle Twin Mum says:

    Never diminish yourself, the difference you can make is massive by writing and sharing online and especially when you come together with other bloggers and social media users. I’ve seen so many campaigns really take off as a few of us believed and had the guts to get out there and make some noise. There is power in our words and our synergy. All the best, Mich x

    1. Thank you Michelle. I still feel like a tiny fish in a huge ocean but I know that my swimming can still cause ripples so that’s why I keep going. Words are powerful. X

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