I am going rather hippy on you today, but I can promise you it’s not madness at all, and it’s rather amazing. As a *disclaimer*, I do believe that what happens is supposed to happen, but even if you are cynical about that I hope that you will still read on and find something interesting in what I have to say.
What I’m talking about is more than simply treating others as you would like to be treated. Not just that not doing bad will mean that bad does not come to you. These are of course good things in themselves, but also that if you actively seek to do good, you will receive good back. Although not necessarily reciprocally. What goes around, comes around. Karma, maybe?
Somehow, weirdly, last year I attended a talk that was supposed to be about the concept of cosmic ordering (long story and not relevant here). I didn’t really learn much about cosmic ordering, but the main lesson I took away from it was that whatever you give out, in the sense of yourself and your emotions, your values, will be reflected back to you. Self-fulfilling I suppose.
It might sound obvious, but it is something I think that we easily forget in our tumultuous, busy everyday lives. We so easily start to think, what is in it for me? To expect something in return for what we do or give. To forget to be good.
I am now aware hugely aware of this idea within my relationships. The oldest relationships are definitely the trickiest, and definitely the ones I fail in most. But it won’t stop me trying. Sometimes I can be consciously different with people, and sometimes not. I try to have compassion, to be generous, to be kind, to have empathy. I try to check any negativity I have.
That is not to say that I didn’t before, but that I didn’t see the impact of this within the relationships. My relationships are strengthened, beyond what I ever thought I could have, with the exception of a one or two, that I still have work to do on or that I have chosen to let go. Life feels simpler and easier, liberated.
I have also received so much back into my life; pleasure and warmth, encouragement and self-discovery, presents that I was not expecting, offers of tickets for events and household items that I needed, even simply finding something in the shops that hitherto eluded me. What I am sure about is that this new approach to my life has made me feel rich.
I can’t say that the positive things that have been happening would not have happened without me changing, but part of me deep down inside knows that what I am giving out is coming back to me. My rational brain says that this is happening because I am in a good place, that I feel I can do these things, but whatever the reason, it is powerful.
So have meaningful conversations instead of small talk. Don’t try to make money from some little thing that you can sell for £5, find someone who it will really make a difference to. Offer a favour not just because you hope the recipient will do something for you. Give as much as you can. You will be rewarded, in ways you can’t imagine.